Moving in with a new partner? Have you discussed and agreed on how you will pay your rent, mortgage, and bills? Here’s why it’s important to have a plan agreed in advance.
Money is not an easy topic to deal with in a relationship. It can be a sticking point that causes friction for many couples when they try to build a life together. According to Royal London, some 62% of couples disagree about money, and it’s also the leading cause of arguments. A third of couples admit they are financially incompatible.
Research from Clear Score in 2024 revealed that 17% of Brits have hidden debts from their partner, and one in four have hidden purchases. Some 22% admit they find talking to their partner about money ‘awkward’.
While love may bring you together, money decisions will shape the life you build. That’s why honest conversations about finances, goals, and values are vital before you commit to your partner, especially before you get married.
We often speak to couples excited to plan their future, only to realise they’ve never really talked about how they’ll manage the mortgage and bills together. Here’s what we recommend discussing and agreeing on with your loved one before committing to moving in and/or getting married…
Where are you now?
You may have already discussed your earnings, but you also need to understand each other’s financial habits and history. It’s crucial to find out what your partner’s attitude is to money – do they have debts? Do they use credit cards and repeatedly take out loans? This isn’t necessarily a deal breaker if they are comfortably paying off their debts, but if they have debts and you’re hoping to buy a place together, it’s essential to be aware of them. Any lender will ask what your outgoings are, along with details of any loans. Now is a good time to find out how responsible your partner is with money. Do they save a bit each month? Are they living from one payday to another and barely making it through the month? It’s important for both of you to be completely open and honest.
What’s the property plan?
If you’re not already homeowners, how long do you plan to rent? Do you want to buy a home together? How long will it take you to both save up for a deposit, and what sacrifices or changes are you both willing to make to achieve your property goal? What type of property do you have in mind? Will it be a ‘project home’ or a newer property? Are you both aligned on your property goals and where you plan to live? These decisions will shape your savings strategy, borrowing potential, and long-term financial stability. Get clear on your shared vision and work backwards from there to ensure you can save and prepare.
What if your partner has been in debt?
Don’t ignore it, but try not to judge. Anyone can face unpredictable financial setbacks due to unexpected car repair bills or illness, and many people were severely affected during Covid. According to the debt advice service, StepChange, one in four Brits has no emergency savings, so it’s not uncommon for someone to be financially vulnerable. However, it’s something to be discussed, and an open conversation early on may help to prevent resentment later. If you plan to buy a property together, you’ll need to know that your partner’s credit history is stable. Similarly, if you’ve had some issues with money in the past and things aren’t too rosy, then don’t try to hide it. It’s important to be transparent even if it makes you uncomfortable. If there are any issues that could affect your chances of getting a mortgage, seek advice from an experienced mortgage broker.
What about kids?
If children are part of your future, start discussing the long-term implications of having kids and how you will prepare financially. Being on the same page when things get tough will make all the difference. Agreeing on your approach early on helps you stay united when challenges arise.
More Information
Knowledge is power, and we’re here to help. We can help you get mortgage-ready, providing an indication of what you could borrow and the deposit amount you’ll need.